Filed under: Random
Yessssss. I get off of work early today. In yo face! I have a date with prime rib tonight.
Filed under: Random
OMG, I am traumatized. I had to sit through an hour and a half “fire and safety” meeting for my office building. Not only was it a meeting that didn’t teach me anything useful, but the man who was leading the meeting, Jimmy, talked so slowly that I started tugging at my hair. He told extremely long and boring stories. Unbearable would be the word. How about please pull my eyes out of my sockets?
We watched a video from the 90s about elevators and escalators. These are the things I learned:
Don’t get on the escalator that’s going the wrong way.
Don’t go barefooted on the escalator.
Don’t walk up the escalator when it’s going downwards.
Don’t try to open a closing elevator door with your briefcase.
Don’t ever press the “up” and “down” buttons at the same time for the elevator. (You know, because we all do that).
These are the highlights from the meeting:
(at the end of the meeting)
JIMMY: Do you know who Jimmy is?
GUEST 1: Um…that’s you?
JIMMY: That’s right!
JIMMY: Do you sleep with your bedroom door closed or open?
GUEST 1: I don’t know, both. Whatever I feel like.
JIMMY: Well, you could save 5 minutes of your life in a fire if you sleep with the door open
[insert extremely long and boring story]
JIMMY: If I were you, I’d stage fire drills in my own house.
(ME and GUEST 1 staring in disbelief).
JIMMY: Well, you have to take care of your children and stage a fire drill
(WE both look really young)
ME (thinking): What children??
(JIMMY looks at me directly)
JIMMY: That is, if they’re old enough to go through a fire drill.
ME (thinking again): What children??
Filed under: Random
Wow, just wow. Mike Huckabee, current Republican presidential candidate and former governor of Arkansas has enlisted Chuck Norris to support his campaign, as reported by the New York Times.
Check out Huckabee’s first ad, airing today. You won’t be sorry. If you don’t like it, Chuck Norris will eat you alive.
Filed under: Random
Everyday I drive by the writers strike going on by the Fox Studios on my way to work. Traffic has increased significantly because people are focused on spotting celebrities or honking their horn strategically to get the writers’ attention. The nerd walk is so beautiful that I think about joining them everyday. I’d much rather look like a badass on the street giving a big F-U to the Man by not going to work than sitting indoors all day. I felt like donning on a red shirt and making a picket sign with some clever slogan like “I’m right cuz I write…Give me more money, biatch!” Okay, I’ve never been too good with slogans…
Filed under: Music
Stars (one of my favorite bands of all time) did a live set on KCRW’s “Morning Becomes Eclectic” on Nov. 12. You know you just want to click on this link , listen and stare off into your cubicle wall like you normally do. Start daydreaming about your upcoming weekend. Time to treat your ears to some Friday delight.
Filed under: Random
Whenever I feel like quitting, my friends will shout out positive sayings like “Don’t give up! You can do it!” I prefer hearing the Japanese equivalent, “Ganbatte” (pronounced Gon-bot-tay) because it seems more versatile. When I lived in Japan, people would say that in response to almost anything. For example:
A: I have a difficult exam today.
B: Ganbatte! ^_^ V
A: I hope I can drink all this beer in two minutes.
B: Ganbatte! ^o^
A: I hate my job.
B: Ganbatte. :/
You get the point.
Quitting used to be something that would freak me out. When I was fresh out of college, I started working in accounting for a really horrible insurance agency for a year. Mind you, I had no experience in accounting at the time and I really think I landed the job because I’m Asian…and I brought an abacus to the interview to look smart. Why did I take the job? You know, I needed the crack money…and it was hard finding a cool job in San Diego.
Wait, one more story about this insurance job before I get back to my point…because it’s that good.
***Flashback****dooo dooo dooo****
When I worked at the insurance agency, my boyfriend at the time attended my company Christmas dinner with me and found himself traumatized by the end of it. My arch nemesis, let’s call her Katie (which isn’t too far from her real name and actually may in fact be her real name), who has as much class as a goat, brought her lecherous husband to the dinner. They inhaled all the alcohol and then started talking about such eye-opening topics like beastiality and how Katie’s husband’s brother totally wanted to “do her.” (ew^5) They also made fun of Native Americans and called one of the girls at the table “Blackfoot” because she was 1/4th.
Katie’s husband, let’s refer to him as Sir Douche from this point on, tried offering my boyfriend an internship at his company. My boyfriend kindly declined. At the end of the night, all the men had to take a picture with my boss. My boyfriend was in the front row kneeling and Sir Douche was standing right behind him. Sir Douche gingerly put his hand on his shoulder and then started humping his back. My boyfriend started to turn around as any sane person would do and before he could complete a full head turn, Sir Douche yelled out, “Stay down bitch!” Then the senile, old lady at the party cackled in delight.
The next day, my other coworker told me that at the party, Sir Douche said to her, “I hear girls who wear rings like to give hand jobs.” He then looked at her face and then at her hands. Guess what? She was wearing a lot of rings! Dun Dun Dun!!!
Sir Douche indeedy. I hope you can see why this job sucked.
Anyhow, back to my point about quitting. I can’t believe I stayed at that job for a year before I woke up from that ridiculous coma, quit my job, and moved to Japan. Best decision of my life.
Evan Harris, a woman who was a co-founder of the Quitters Quarterly (which she eventually quit publishing as well) had such great insight about quitting. I heard her speak about quitters euphoria on This American Life, one of my favorite radio shows. “Quitters euphoria is an incredible thing,” said Harris. “It’s like a drug. It’s like falling in love…with your decision.”
She doesn’t believe we should quit everything in our lives. Some things work well, like exercising or eating right or actually picking up a book every now and then. But really, she feels that “quitting is about cutting your losses and moving on.”
Quitting isn’t only limited to jobs. Harris quit her city and her boyfriend as well. Sometimes you need to try hard at things to get better at them, but when you feel it really isn’t right, it’s time to leave. One of my favorite friends just left Los Angeles to move back to her hometown on the east coast. I was really sad to see her go, but was happy that she was quitting this town because it just wasn’t for her.
I’ve worked a gazillion jobs. I’ve been a video rental clerk, a psych lab assistant, a Yahoo! employee, an ESL teacher, a research assistant, a girl that filed in an old hospital morgue…. You name it, I did it. I had to quit all those things and I finally found a job I’m happy doing and not dreading every morning.
“The more things you quit, the more things you’re going to do, and the more things you do you have more potential for success,” said Harris.
Yeah, I know, it’s bordering a bit on Tony Robbins self-help talk, but I’m all for quitting on parts of your life that really suck. Go for it – experience quitters euphoria and fall in love with your decisions!
