Composed Elements

I’m just kidding. I don’t know your mama and I don’t really think she’s that fat.

Anyhow, last night, I was listening to NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” segment on political put-downs and comebacks. There’s nothing I love more than witty banter that results in somebody saying “touche!” or crying softly in the corner.

Here are some of my favorites:

From Chris Lamb’s book “I’ll Be Sober in the Morning”, here’s a story about Winston Churchill, the king of political put-downs:

Winston Churchill had been drinking heavily at a party when he bumped into Bessie Braddock, a Socialist Member of Parliament.

“Mr. Churchill, you are drunk,” Braddock said harshly.

Churchill paused and said, “And Bessie, you are ugly. You are very ugly. I’ll be sober in the morning.”

And another one…

During a television debate against incumbent U.S. Senator Fritz Hollings in 1986, Republican candidate Henry McMaster challenged his opponent to take a drug test.

“I’ll take a drug test,” Hollings responded, “if you’ll take an IQ test.”

And I heard this one on the show last night:

Reporter: How do you feel about people instantly disliking you?
Politician: It saves them time.

You can listen to the whole show here.